A Feast of Leaves

‘I will not eat the leaves of the trees.’
The Life of St Collen

Saints do not know how to eat leaves.

How to boil them in Your cauldron
to make the sweetest meats,
the finest of poetry.

This is the art
of the awenydd,
of the nun of Annwn.

She knows where to gather them,
this first fall of green-browns,
ash, poplar, willow, before
the yellow-golds of lime, the reds,
oranges, crimsons of maples to come.

She knows how to stew them 
with apple and cinnamon,

how to cook for You
the most delicious feast.

A poem for Gwyn’s Feast which this year falls on the full moon and is a powerful time to be offering food and mead and poetry to the Blessed One.

This year I feasted Gwyn last night with the Monastery of Annwn. This proved fitting as when I went out before dawn this morning to pour the mead I left on His altar overnight at His apple tree in our garden I saw the full moon.

The Hound with the Serpent Tails

I am a mystery
with one end in Thisworld
and one end in the Otherworld.

My tails lead down the long dark tunnels
from light to darkness
and for the lucky ones
back out to the light of day again.

What is my origin?
Was I born at midnight?
From what union?

From what spell?

Oh what has the cauldron
got to sing of my birth to those
who see me as the guardian
of the Gates of Hell?

This image of Dormach, the favourite hound of Gwyn ap Nudd, is based on an sketch of him drawn by a monk in The Black Book of Carmarthen in ‘The Conversation of Gwyn ap Nudd and Gwyddno Garanhir’. Here he is described as ‘sleek and fair’ and as having a red nose. This description is similar to the Hounds of Annwn in the First Branch of The Mabinogion who are ‘gleaming shining white’ with ‘red ears’.

It is unknown why Dormach is depicted with serpent’s tails. It is likely due to his Annuvian nature. Nudd/Nodens, the father of Gwyn, is associated with a battle between red and white dragons and there is a mural of sea serpents in his temple.

In my novel-in-progress, In the Deep, I reimagine how Dormach came to be ‘the Hound with the Serpent Tails’. This story and other exclusive excerpts are available to my patrons on Patreon HERE.

The Cell of Sister Patience

A new moon. More change. I’m sitting, meditating in this space I consecrated to Gwyn ap Nudd and the deities of Annwn as a cell of the Monastery of Annwn, being guided to focus on my breath, my here-ness. On the process of becoming Sister Patience as I approach taking my temporary vows as a nun of Annwn. And I realise this virtual space, re-named Orddu’s Cave, isn’t reflecting this place or who I am.

I changed the name of this blog several weeks ago for a few different reasons. The title ‘From Peneverdant’ was no longer working for me as I live a good mile and a half from ‘the Green Hill on the Water’ after which my hometown is named. Away from the river Ribble, up Fish House Brook, through Greencroft Valley, close to its source on the edge of where Penwortham Moss was drained off. In the Kingsfold Ward very close to the once notorious estate known as ‘the Beirut of Preston’.

It was no longer reflecting my monastic turn, to the turning of my attention to tending this sacred space, the cauldron of inspiration within and without, our garden, continuing to volunteer in Greencroft Valley.

The tagline ‘In Service to the Old Gods of Britain’ was no longer working as my path was becoming increasingly henotheistic, centred on Gwyn, whilst continuing to honour His family and the spirits of Annwn and my local deities.

I felt a calling to reconnect with Orddu and her ancestors – the lineage of witches who lived in a cave in Pennant Gofid, ‘the Valley of Grief’, in an unknown location in the Old North. I found analogies between their cave-dwelling and my own retreat to my monastic cell yet ‘Orddu’s Cave’ began to feel too distant.

I now feel much happier with ‘The Cell of Sister Patience’ reflecting where I am and who I am.

Review – Bardskull by Martin Shaw

What’s in a bard’s skull? A topography of lands and dreams and stories and mythic figures from Martin Shaw’s local Devonian story-hunting ground and across Britain to as far away as Crete, Africa, Scandinavia, Siberia. Courted, incanted, summoned, they come to inspire, converse with and possess the bard.

The book takes the form of three ritual journeys in the Devonian landscape wherein Shaw offers up physical gifts and storytelling to court the land into opening, conversing, to spilling forth the visions he and the world need to hear.

It differs from his previous publications in its recording of raw thoughts and experiences rather than more refined reflections on mythic material. Sometimes this leads to brilliance and at others borders on self indulgent rant. There are a few pokes at ‘pagans’ and ‘eco-hippies’ some might find offensive.

The first journey leads along the river Durius and tales include ‘Vita Merlini’ and ‘Rhiannon of the Horses.’ Merlin comes swimming up his local watercourses ‘good rivers all’ but full of ‘effluent’ he ‘drank sloughed off the fields’ and puked up ‘outside Taunton services’ protesting about being reduced to an ‘archetype’. Shaw agrees he is clearly ‘not fucking Gandalf.’ 

At the end is a particularly striking scene during which Shaw is called to crawl into the ‘pitch-black belly’ of a ‘butchered horse’ by Childe the Hunter (a character from Dartmoor’s legends who got lost hunting through the snow and slew his horse and climbed inside it to keep warm but no avail). 

This drives Shaw into his next journey – a one hundred and one night vigil in a ‘nest’ ‘in a thirty foot circle, perimeter articulated by flour and whisky’ in a Dartmoor grove with a ‘little hazel bush’ in the middle where he sits and calls.

What he seeks are stories not for a ‘horse time’ but for a ‘wolf time’. This leads to his possession by old man Vainamoinen, a dialogue with his great-great uncle Hamer Broadbent, a Christian missionary in Russia, and his ‘big dream’, his ‘great, lumbering fuck of a dream’ of Wolferland – Doggerland in the shape of a wolf (some of this is recorded in his previous book of that name). 

This section ends with an Old Testament style vision and nine words that will ever be imprinted on his mind that lead to his conversion to Christianity. 

Throughout Shaw is haunted by a rider on a ridge but he does his best not to look. ‘I don’t have time for this… Horseman pass by.’ He appears again talking backwards and is warded off – Shaw isn’t one for courting dark things.

The final journey leads up to Big Rock and singings of the songlines of Devon and Shaw’s final taking of every story he has ever told for a walk and offering them up with myrhh, henna blossoms, a vineyard, his ‘plait, a foot of hair cut away’ as a grand finale resulting in a final vision. And what does he see? 

*SPOILER ALERT* ‘A great gathering of humans and animals… all the originals of this place… And suddenly, there he is. The rider. My teacher. The one who has stalked me this whole time. And finally he speaks. And finally I understand. What was dark sound has become new wine.’ 

This passage gave me goose bumps. It reminded me shiveringly of my first meeting with my patron God, Gwyn ap Nudd, an otherworldly huntsman. Shaw never reveals who this rider, his teacher is, but he is led not to devotion to a pre-Christian deity but to ‘crawling into God’.* *SPOILER END*

This book is highly recommended to all who are not only lovers of myths and stories but wish to enter into them and be initiated by the figures within on a deeper level. It speaks of the trials and tribulations and triumphs of courting old tales, of holding vigils, of honouring the land, of awakening its songlines.

To me it forms the grand finale of a series of books charting Shaw’s life and work as an animistic mythteller before his conversion to Orthodox Christianity.

*Shaw’s conversion to Orthodox Christianity, like his friend, Paul Kingsnorth’s, came as a big shock to me. Whilst I totally understand their being claimed by Jesus their choosing to convert to a black and white religion with binary theology that has oppressed countless peoples and their traditions and stories and deities is beyond my comprehension.

Ogddu ‘Black Cave’ – Devotional Art

Oggdu ‘Black Cave’ is not known from existing Brythonic myths or folklore but has come through to be me as the mother of Orwen, ‘Very White’, who was the mother of Orddu, ‘Very Black’. They were a lineage of ‘witches’ who lived in a cave in Pennant Gofid, in the north, and had associations with Gwyn ap Nudd, a King of Annwn.

Ogddu first came through as a name, then as a voice, now finally in an image. I wasn’t sure how she was going to look until I started drawing. I’m not sure how she lost her eye(s). A story waiting to be told or a mystery that will never be known?

All My Devotion

This is a devotional song for my patron God Gwyn ap Nudd. It began as an experiment in singing in trance whatever came into my mind in a monastic chant style linked with the repetition of the line ‘I bring all my devotion to you’. Slowly the verses Gwyn wanted me to sing coalesced. Hopefully this explains its misty dreamlike nature which I think fits with the meaning of His name ‘White son of Mist’.

White Son of Mist, mist-filled wanderer, Your hound haunts the cloud mountains where Your horse grazes on nothing…

…and I bring all my devotion to You…

Bull of Battle, undying warrior, Your sword parts the veil where carrion birds circle and the past unfurls…

… and I bring all my devotion to You…

Guide of Souls, gentle hunter, the graves lie open and the dead ride the storm of my soul…

… and I bring all my devotion to You…

King of Annwn, Your star shines brightly, I kneel before it at the end when silence rules…

… and I bring all my devotion to You

Orwen ‘Very White’ – Devotional Art

This is a sketch of Orwen ‘Very White’. We know nothing about her from Welsh mythology aside from her being the mother of Orddu ‘Very Black’, a witch who lived in a cave in Pennant Gofid ‘the Valley of Grief’ in the north, and was killed by Arthur. The image and poem below are based on my personal gnosis.

Mine is the wisdom of the owl
who takes flight at dusk,
crepuscular,
like the crescent
of the moon beginning to wax.

In the interstices between new and full,
dark and light, by the half-light you might meet me.

Although they call me ‘Very White’ you don’t want to see me
fully exposed by the white-pitched revealing light of the full moon.

By the full moon’s light I once caught a snowy white hare
and took her to be sacrificed in the Castle of Night
but somewhere up there in the heavens
she escaped me and I found
in her stead
within my owl feather cloak
a piece of dead star and it has since
then lit the orb on top of my staff with dead starlight.

They say now that I might be seen at dusk or dawn
on the wing or as a light on the marsh
too white to behold by the black of night or daylight.

The Day I Saw Your Face

The day
I saw Your face

I could barely believe
You were real.

Some say You are not –
You are impossible

King of Faery,
Lord of Annwn,
Dragon Ruler
of the Not-World.

And yet You are.

You are a paradox.

You are a fortress
filled with riddles.

You are an underworld
riddled with serpents.

You speak in serpent tongues.

~

The day
I saw Your face

You struck me dumb.

You stole my tongue.

From thereon I have known
it will turn to stone
if it ceases
to sing for You.

~

The day
I saw Your face

It made all the suffering
of my past lives meaningful.

I run through them shouting
“We will meet a God”

so loudly
some hear me
and some believe me.

~

I have seen
so many of Your faces
I could fill an ocean
(none possible).

Today
I pour the mead
for Your unknown face.

~

At the end of August I celebrated the eleventh anniversary of my first meeting with my patron God, Gwyn ap Nudd, by reciting this poem to Him where I met Him on Fairy Lane in Penwortham at the leaning yew and making Him an offering of the last of the apples from our apple trees and a serving of mead. I sensed His presence and the approval of the land in the enchantment of the dappled light on the branches of the yew.

Orddu ‘Very Black’ – Devotional Art

As part of the process of introducing Orddu and the Witches of Annwn into my daily practice as spiritual ancestors I am beginning to produce some devotional art for them as well as writing them poems and telling their stories. Here I am trying to capture Orddu’s characteristics as a ‘very black witch’ and ‘hag’ who battles against Arthur as presented in the original tale without inclining towards more traditional caricatures. I aimed to create the sense of harsh formidable and dark figure who was esteemed as a warrior woman and prophet. As you can probably tell I have no formal training as an artist just a history of doodling characters from writings of my own and others from a very young age.

The Voice of the Dark Cave

I.
You are not perfect
distant daughter of mine

and life is filled with lumps
and bumps and knots and cracks.

There will always be problems.
You will learn to solve them.

There will always be pain.
You will learn to heal.

That is the secret of our art –
of the inspired one and the witch.

II.
There is a cauldron in the cave
and a vision in the cauldron,

the lining of the womb
of Old Mother of Universe

and this is the Web of Fate.
You are the needle travelling

in and out of the weft of time
to re-weave the tapestry.

III.
You are not perfect
distant daughter of mine

and life is filled with perils
worse than the monsters of Annwn.

One-eyed giants, eyeless, blind.
You will learn not only to face

but to help these things
that should not have been made –

to help them return to the dark
of the Old Mother’s womb.

IV.
A universe is in the cauldron
and the cauldron is in you

kindled by the breath
of ninefold wise women,

by wisdom of the ancestors.
In it our visions boil and brew.

Be a strong vessel distant child
so this old world can be born anew.

These words were received from Ogddu on a spirit journey to the Cave of the Ancestors this morning. I believe Ogddu to be the mother of Orwen and grandmother of Orddu. Her name derives from ogof ddu ‘black cave’ and one of her epithets is ‘the Voice of the Dark Cave’. Receiving this poem from her confirmed that my choice to walk Orddu’s path and to begin working more deeply with this lineage of Inspired Ones of the North (who I perceive to be spiritual ancestors rather than blood ancestors) is the right one.