Jayne Johnson – The Sanctuary of Vindos

I’m very happy to announce that my shamanic practitioner training is complete. Fourteen years ago, when I first started attending shamanic workshops, I never dreamed that I might be standing in the shoes of the magical person who played the drum and carried out healings, but here I am.

My training began in May 2024 with an organisation called the Sacred Trust. In the first residential I undertook an initiatory shamanic burial ritual in which we dug our own graves in the Devon hillside and spent a night in them. It sounds formidable but, for me at least, it was enjoyable, as I like digging and relished the thought of a night in the earth with my Gods and spirits, particularly as my patron God, Vindos / Gwyn ap Nudd had asked me to marry Him in death. I had far worse struggles with the change of routine and diet.

In the second residential, we covered Harner shamanic counselling (1). During this process, a shamanic practitioner guides a newcomer client through six shamanic journeys to solve a life issue with help from the spirits. The client wears headphones to listen to a recorded drumbeat and speaks their journeys out loud into a microphone. The practitioner and client then listen to the recording and the practitioner guides the client in their interpretation.

We (a group of 22) took it in turns to play the roles of practitioner and client and were assessed as we went along. Whilst I recognised the ingenuity and value of this method, as an autistic person who struggles with wearing headphones and virtual drumbeats and with being in loud crowded spaces (imagine all those other people speaking out their journeys loud!) I found it incredibly claustrophobic and this was reflected in my shamanic journeys. I returned home questioning whether a recorded drumbeat on headphones rather than a live drum, combined with the pressure of speaking a journey out loud, were the best way to introduce a newcomer to shamanism.

Before I had the chance to deliver the Harner shamanic counselling to volunteer clients, I decided to leave the Sacred Trust for ethical reasons (2). My mentor and supervisor, shamanic practitioner and embodied relational therapist, Jayne Johnson, supported me through the process. Afterwards, she offered to take me on as a shamanic apprentice. Working one-to-one suited me far better as it allowed my learning to be more flexible and spirit-led.

With Jayne, I decided, instead of delivering the Harner shamanic counselling, for my first client offering, to provide a six week introduction to shamanism inspired by the model but with a live drum and no need to speak into a mic. In the first session, I outlined the history and theory of shamanism. In the following sessions, clients undertook journeys to the Lower World to meet animal spirit guides, to the Upper World to meet a spirit teacher, to the Middle World to meet their local land spirits, then finally, underwent a basic shamanic healing at the hands of their helping spirits. I guided eight complete newcomers through the process. Discovering shamanism and meeting their spirit guides was a great gift to them and it was a pleasure and honour for me to hold the space, provide guidance and witness their progress.

Around this time and afterwards, I experimented with running shamanic journey circles, first at a local Spiritualist Church, then at a couple of local venues. Although I succeeded in running the circles, due to my autism, I found it difficult managing the needs and energies of a group (particularly co-ordinating the drumming, which really hurt my head!). After numbers fell and events were called off due to extreme weather, I realised the spirits were telling me running groups was not meant to be part of my vocation.

Stepping up into shamanic healing, which I truly felt was my soul’s calling, one of my first offerings was power animal retrieval. I learnt this at an introductory workshop with the Sacred Trust. Journeying for or with a client into the Otherworld to retrieve their power animal was a beautiful and exuberant process in which I almost felt like a celebrant as I helped reveal and seal sacred partnerships that will hopefully last for life.

I was then called to offer soul retrieval. This was a big initiation for me. I was aware of how sensitive the process of bringing back lost soul parts who have fled or been driven away due to trauma can be. I also felt it was a part of my soul’s purpose, being a devotee of Gwyn, the Gatherer of Souls. And there were times it was intense and scary and times I was unsure whether I ‘got it right’, but, largely the journeys and soul parts made sense to the client. Again, it was a great honour to play a role in helping the lost parts to return, to blow them into the client, to witness their becoming more whole.

An important related technique I mastered was soul exchange. This involves holding space for a client and another person to exchange soul parts they have picked up from one another in a relationship and cutting unhealthy cords. I experienced this to be a simple yet profound process.

Next, I moved onto extraction. This involves removing intrusions into a client’s energy field which cause sicknesses. Previous work with my own energy system led me to seeing this was just one form of shamanic energy healing (which also involves shifting and transforming blocked and congealed energies). Thus, I offered it under that title. As I’m usually a little awkward around other people, I wasn’t sure how working closely on their energy field would feel, but once I was in shamanic trance I was fine. I found shamanic energy healing really intuitive – my hands and body knew what to do and my spirit helpers were always beside me with their help and advice. My hounds, who I’d seen more as hunters, proved to be great healers. This fit with Nodens / Nudd (Gwyn’s father) being associated with healing hounds. Having more experience, I tied in other techniques, such as power and soul retrieval with shamanic energy healings where needed. My clients reported improvements with illnesses and ailments and having more energy.

All was going well until a great interruption. Following a week of meditation, I realised being a nun, Sister Patience, and running the Monastery of Annwn were no longer my calling. I was catapulted back into being Lorna Smithers, with all her shit, which Sister Patience thought she had transcended.

I ended up writing like mad to get to the root of it and found out what I had been trying to escape was an eating disorder which began with childhood bullying. I was carrying a great deal of shame from binge eating and drinking, which had led to restrictive dieting and excessive exercising to control my weight. I’d thought, with my monastic routine, I was ‘better’. But, although my exercise and food habits were healthier, I still had issues with restriction and body image. I identified this as my ‘core wound’ and am still working with it today. I see this as essential inner work that has come out of the apprenticeship.

Throughout my training, I have explored ancestor work, building my family tree and journeying to family ancestors with my mum and offering healing where fit.

My training in psychopomping built upon my existing experience of witnessing Gwyn guiding the souls of the dead and being guided to help in rare situations. As my apprenticeship has progressed my psychopomp work has increased and I have helped stuck souls in a variety of situations to pass. I am now offering psychopomping for free as a service to Gwyn and the dead.

Towards the end of the apprenticeship I also trained in depossession. I learnt enough to be able to handle situations where this difficult technique is needed, but will not be offering it as a service until I have more experience.

My shamanic training has been challenging, healing, and transformative. Following the tumult with the Sacred Trust it felt safe and right and like a homecoming to be training with Jayne – for which I’m deeply grateful to her and my spirits. Working one-to-one with Jayne meant I could work at my own pace and cover the techniques in the order I was inspired to. It meant I could take time off client work to work through my personal crisis. I also had far more in depth tuition than I would have got from the Sacred Trust. Jayne is incredibly knowledgeable not only about shamanism and psychotherapy. With her, I have learnt a lot about counselling skills and how the psychological material of clients might appear in their journeys. We have also done a good deal of work with my soul parts and their needs and conflicts.

Thus, I’m also very happy to say, that following my shamanic apprenticeship, I will be continuing with more advanced training with Jayne. I’m hoping to explore the intersection of shamanism and psychotherapy and working with soul parts more deeply and to progress further with ancestral healing and psychopomping.

Another avenue that I am considering is putting my experience of an eating disorder and my special interests in nutrition and exercise to use by investigating ways of combining them with shamanic work to provide a holistic approach to healing for others who have issues with food and body image.

This is the beautiful personalised certificate that Jayne awarded to me.

I’d like to give a huge thank you to all my volunteer clients and to those who have paid student rates for offering your time, energy and money so we can come together to do this much needed and sacred work.

I’d like to thank Jayne for being a superb teacher and for supporting me through all the ups and downs that have come my way (there have been a lot!). Also, Jason and Nicola Smalley at the Way of the Buzzard with whom I have been learning and practicing shamanism for many years and whose journey circles and coaching calls have been an invaluable source of support.

Finally, I’d like to say my biggest thank you to Vindos / Gwyn and my helping spirits. I couldn’t have done this without you. A shamanic practitioner is nothing without their Gods and spirits.

Vindos, my patron,
my inspiration, my beloved and my truth,
tonight I dedicate my services as a shamanic practitioner
to Your sanctuary and to You.

(1) https://www.shamanism.org/workshops/harner-shamanic-counseling/
(2) See Nicholas Breeze-Wood’s article ‘Stung By the Tale – The Exposure and Death of British Bee Shamanism’ in Sacred Hoop, 126, 2024.

Over the past four months I have been attending a monthly course on radical embodiment with Jayne Johnson and Alex Walker. The focus has been on aliveness and increasing our awareness and understanding of our nervous system as we move in and out of contact with others using voice, play, dance and touch. The workshops took place at West Gilling Village Hall in North Yorkshire.

On the first week we focused on the nervous system. We were introduced to polyvagal theory through the work of Laura Geiger and Deb Dana. At this point I was aware of the differences between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system but not of the central role of the vagus nerve (our gut-brain axis).

We learnt there are two pathways on the vagus nerve called ventral and dorsal. These regulate how we engage with our surroundings and other people. Two of the systems associated with these pathways are ventral vagal flight / fight and dorsal vagal freeze / shutdown and they are our oldest ways of being dating back to the our reptilian ancestors. The most recent system to evolve is the mammalian ventral vagal social engagement system. When we are in this state we feel safe and are open to social contact, learning, playing and bonding. We explored these systems through contact and dance with music choreographed to lead us into each.

This knowledge and work has been incredibly helpful for me as it illuminated how most of the time when I am around other people I am in fight / flight because I was bullied when I was younger and as an autistic person struggle to read facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Learning of freeze / shutdown helped me understand my autistic shutdowns. Because Jayne and Alex established such a safe space and the other participants were so open and authentic I was able to relax into social engagement and explore connecting with others.

On the second week we covered the satisfaction cycle, which was established when we infants, and governs how we ‘yield, push, reach, take hold, and pull’. One of the exercises was bringing six objects through which we explored this in pairs. We were invited to consider how these processes continue to govern our adult lives.

I had quite a big revelation. It is one of my habits to reach for something I want and, if I can’t have it, put it aside and take something I don’t want instead for a while, then go back to the thing I really want. This has happened over and over again with my calling to bring the myths and worship of the ancient British Gods into the world. Now I can see the habit for what it is I can avoid repeating it.

Thresholds and edge figures, covered on the third week, was my favourite topic. Herein we looked at the internal authority figures who act as gatekeepers between the safety and comfort of our known world and the risks of the unknown. We met and engaged with our edges and edge figures through various exercises such as using a scarf as an edge and negotiating with a partner in the role of an edge figure.

One of my biggest insights came later from journeying to my edge figures and a one-to-one session on my insights with Alex. Rather than treating edge figures as adversaries we need to understand their perspectives, acknowledge how they have helped us, treat them with kindness and get them on board. This has helped me deal with my trio of Victorian school teachers, Mrs Planner, Mrs Figure It Out and Mrs Certainty, who have helped me to be incredibly organised and good at planning but sometimes get in the way of me doing deeper spiritual work.

The fourth week was integration wherein we brought everything together. One of our challenges was supporting each other in connection in a gigantic blue band. During the last dance I found myself feeling massively grateful to Jayne and Alex and the other participants for everything we have experienced together but also wanting more. Longing to dance with others monastic devotees in a monastery in devotion to Gwyn. I put this out into the word as a prayer and the following morning received guidance on the first step which will be leading ‘Journeys to the Deep’.

This has been the first course I have attended since covid and my withdrawal from the Pagan community in favour of my polytheistic monastic path. It has given me the inspiration and faith in other people to take further steps out into the world by training as a shamanic healer and hopefully to recommence leading workshops locally.

Jayne and Alex hope to offer this course again in 2025 in the Hebden Bridge area and to run an Advanced Radical Embodiment retreat in mid June 2025.