During my time as a nun, I lived by vows and a rule within the Monastery of Annwn. When I left, although I gave up my monastic name, I took Six S’s of Sister Patience with me. They, plus, one more, now form the core values of the Sanctuary of Vindos. I see the guidance of Vindos / Gwyn in this as He was the patron of the monastery.
The Seven S’s are: sanctuary, simplicity, sustainability, stability, solitude, silence and service. Here, I provide an outline of what they mean to me and how they contribute to the ethos of the sanctuary.
Sanctuary
The term ‘sanctuary’ derives from the Late Latin sanctuarium, ‘a sacred place, shrine,’ from the Latin sanctus ‘holy’. Originally, it referred to a container for holy things, then to a consecrated place for holy things (ie. a shrine, temple, or church). Later, it was extended to refer to a place of refuge for fugitives or debtors, then for any humans, then for protected habitats and animals.
The sanctuary is consecrated to Vindos, His family and my local land spirits. I tend a shrine for Him in my bedroom and I do my best to relate to the house (which I share with my elderly parents) with reverence when doing the housework. The garden is sacred to Creiddylad, Vindos / Gwyn’s consort. I work with Her and the tree and plant spirits when sowing, growing and re-wilding.
Although I cannot offer refuge due to my living conditions, I strive to embody sanctuary when I am holding space during my client work and in my relationships with family and friends.
Simplicity
Living simply, I have cut down to essentials to reduce clutter and distractions to make more time and space for relationship with the Gods and spirits. This includes food, clothes, books, ornaments, ritual objects, social engagements, group memberships and social media use.
Sustainability
Where possible, I buy locally grown and produced food and eco-friendly toiletries and cleaning and laundry products. Most of my sacred objects are either bought from local and ethical suppliers or found in my local area. I walk or cycle to most places within distance unless I need to transport heavy loads. It’s very rare that I travel by car outside of South Ribble and Preston.
Stability
Staying in the same place and paying attention to the seasonal changes year by year provides a depth of relationship with home, garden and locality.
Solitude
For many people, shamanism is mostly communal. Yet, there have always been practitioners who have dwelled alone on the edges. Hermits, cave dwellers, mad men and women. Time in solitude (from other people) helps me to rest, relax, reconnect with my Gods and spirits and receive inspiration.
Silence
For me, silence is not so much the absence of sound but the absence of noise. The noisome content of much of the virtual world and my own inner chatter. Silence makes possible deep listening. To hear the words of the Other beyond the chunnering of the everyday and to access deeper insights.
Service
For fourteen years, I have served Vindos and the Gods and spirits of Britain through my writing and shamanic practices. More recently, I have begun to serve other people as a guide and healer. Serving someone greater has given me a sense of meaning and purpose in life that was lacking before. It has brought challenge, pain, joy, achievement and transformation.
The sanctuary and its Seven S’s provide the sacred ground which allows me to thrive and to help others to grow and transform on their journeys.
On Reclaiming Awareness in Contemporary Shamanism and Polytheism
‘There is no greater offering than awareness.’ These words came from my patron God, Vindos, from an old, old form of Him who predates this name.
In prehistoric times, when Vindos was worshipped across Britain and Gaul, people lived in deep awareness of the natural world and its energetic and spiritual dimensions. This has been lost over the centuries. Indigenous cultures retain it and meditative traditions provide the key to reclaiming it within contemporary shamanic and polytheistic traditions in the West.
In this article, I cover how our awareness has been lost and look to the guidance of the yogic tradition and its Lord, Shiva, and to Vindos Himself, for how awareness might be reclaimed as the greatest offering.
How We Lost Our Awareness
It’s my personal gnosis that Vindos, a God associated with hunting, wolves and dogs, has long been venerated by the hunter-gatherer peoples who populated Britain and Gaul and perhaps further afield.
These people were animists, who saw the whole world as inspirited, from the animals, trees, plants and fungi, to hills, mountains, rocks, the smallest of stones. It was all viewed as alive and aware. Their culture was also shamanic. Through shamanic trance, they were able communicate with each individual awareness not only on the physical level but on energetic and spiritual levels and to access the universal awareness of the entire cosmos.
They were also polytheistic and worshipped numerous Gods and spirits. These included the Deities of natural features such as mountains and rivers and those who presided over functions such as birth, death, war and healing. These Gods were multifaceted and many performed multiple roles.
The awareness of these people was expansive. For their survival, they depended on being deeply aware of the physical, energetic and spirit realms.
The need for such finely honed awareness likely began to decline with the development of agriculture and more sedentary societies, who relied on the strength of their warriors and their defensive fortifications in order to live.
With the coming of Christianity, awareness of the inspiritedness of the natural world and of its energetic and spiritual dimensions declined as people were told that nature and the body were sinful and that God and the saints resided in a heavenly realm only accessible to the righteous upon death.
Our scientific worldview eliminated the existence of spirits entirely, presenting the natural world as dead matter governed by scientific laws.
The industrial and technological revolutions have separated us further. For the most part, we experience nature and human relationships on screens.
We are suffering from myopia both theoretically and literally. This is epitomised by the 996 work culture wherein some people in the tech industry work 9am until 9pm six days a week – 72 hours in total at a screen. We lose hours, even days, scrolling news feeds and binge watching Netflix.
The worst of the matter is that we’re not even aware of our unawareness.
Awareness in Shaivism and Yoga
In prehistoric times, the cost of a lack of awareness was death. I believe that practices designed to cultivate awareness in meditative traditions such as yoga likely date back to older animistic and shamanic cultures. These provide clues to the life-or-death matter of awareness and how it might be reclaimed.
In Insight into Reality: The Tantric Teachings of the Vigyana Bhairava Tantra, Swami Nischalananda, speaks of how yoga and tantra originate from ‘Shaivism, the Path of Evoking Shiva, a system of mysticism rooted in indigenous shamanism’. My explication of Shaivism derives from his work.
In Shaivism, ultimate reality has two sides. One is Parama Shiva – ‘Supreme Consciousness’ or Universal Awareness. The other is Shakti – matter and energy.
Ultimate Awareness is the ground of individual awareness – that which remains constant throughout our lives and gives us the ability to know our sensory perceptions, emotions, thoughts, memories and dreams. Individual awareness is not limited to humans – all other beings are aware too. As individual awarenesses we are Shiva and as embodied beings we are Shakti.
Unfortunately, too often, we lose touch with our awareness. This is not solely a modern phenomenon (although modernity has made it worse). It has its basis in the nature of our mind and our predisposition to lose ourselves in our thoughts and emotions. This tends to happen when we are looking ahead to the future or back upon events of the past. Our abilities to plan and to learn from our mistakes are important survival mechanisms. However, when we lose ourselves in simulations of what might happen (which is rarely the case) or what has happened (which is often skewed) we are unaware of what is happening in the here-and-now and miss out on life itself. Awareness is only possible in the present moment.
The meditative techniques found in yoga and other traditions train us to become aware of what is happening presently by offering methods of stilling our thoughts and learning to witness them rather than being lost in them.
In Shaivism, when we, as embodied beings, realise our individual awareness, we partake in the unison of Shakti (matter and energy) with Shiva (Ultimate Awareness). The marriage of these Deities takes place through and within us.
The practice of awareness might thus be seen as the greatest of offerings.
Likenesses Between Shiva and Shakti and Vindos and Kraideti
Yoga and Brythonic polytheism have shared roots as Indo-European traditions. Both my research and personal gnosis suggest that Shiva and Vindos and their consorts, Shakti and Kradeti, shared similar roles.
There are notable likenesses between Shiva on the Pashupati Seal and Vindos on the Gundestrup Cauldron. The Pashupati Seal, from the Indus Valley, dates to 2200 BCE. It depicts Shiva horned and surrounded by animals. The Gundestrup Cauldron was found in the Rævemose bog in Denmark and is dated between 150 BCE and 100 CE. On one of the panels is a horned figure with animals surrounding Him. He has been identified as Cernunnos, ‘Horned’, which may be another title of Vindos. Later known as Gwyn ap Nudd, He appears as a ‘bull of battle’ in a medieval Welsh poem called ‘The Conversation of Gwyn ap Nudd and Gwyddno Garanhir’. Shiva and Vindos share associations with bulls, serpents and destruction.
Shiva is well known for His third eye and Vindos appears to me with a jewel in His forehead which grants the capacity of Clear Sight. Near me, in Furness, a bronze head was found with a hole for a jewel in its forehead. It resembles a bronze head of Bhairava (a fierce form of Shiva) from Nepal.
The consort of Vindos, Kraideti (1), later known as Creiddylad, shares similar qualities to Shakti through her associations with sovereignty and fertility in a medieval Welsh text called Culhwch and Olwen wherein Gwyn and His rival, Gwythyr, do battle every May Day for her hand in marriage.
It might, therefore, be suggested that Vindos can be seen as Ultimate Awareness and Kraideti as primal matter and energy within Brythonic polytheism. As embodied beings, we are Kraideti, and as awareness we are Vindos. Our awareness can be the greatest of offerings to these Deities.
The Practice of Awareness as an Offering
Since I began practicing yoga, the core of my path has been ‘being present for Vindos’. It’s only recently that I have come to associate this, on a deeper level, with awareness and with uniting with Him as the Ultimate Awareness.
This is something I incorporate into my yoga practice. When I am practicing yoga – asana ‘body postures’, pranayama ‘breathwork’ and meditation – I do so with the intention of cultivating awareness and entering deeper unison with Him.
Yoga, or any form of mindful movement, breathwork, and meditation can easily be built into a shamanic or polytheistic practice. Moving and intentional breathing help to calm and slow the mind and emotions in preparation for meditation. In meditation, both the mind and the body become still and we achieve deeper states of awareness.
There are many types of meditation that we can choose from. These include body awareness, breath awareness, sensory awareness, witnessing thoughts and emotions, bringing awareness to our energy body (in yoga the pancha kosha ‘five sheaths’ and the chakras) and visualisations of Gods and Goddesses.
Drawing on karma yoga, ‘the yoga of action’, and Bhakti yoga, ‘the yoga of the heart’, we can make awareness an offering during our daily activities. When I am walking, gardening, or doing housework, I strive to be aware of what I am doing in the present moment, what’s happening in my body, and of the myriad individual awareness with whom I am interacting. Where appropriate, I attune myself not only to the physical but the energetic and spiritual dimensions. I practice this as an offering to Vindos and Kradeti and to all the beings with whom I have the privilege of sharing this earth with.
For me, the greatest challenge is being aware in situations when I’d rather not be present – such as when the roofers are banging on our roof, I’m getting to the last rep in the gym, or I’m having an argument with my dad. It’s particularly difficult when I’m struggling with anxiety about surviving in a world where my gifts as a shamanic practitioner and author are tough to make a living from. It’s times like these that the practice is designed for.
When I am aware, when I am the witness rather than caught up in my thoughts, fears and desires, I can see more clearly. I am no longer controlled by my emotions. I can recognise my habitual behaviours, begin to understand them, to release them, to make positive changes.
When I am united with Vindos, His Clear Light (2) grants me Clear Sight and I am able to make choices and judgements from a greater perspective.
I recognise that not all who practice shamanism or polytheism will relate to these conceptions of Shiva and Vindos as Ultimate Awareness and Shakti and Kraideti as primal matter and energy. However, it might be possible to find Gods and Goddesses who do. If not, awareness can be an offering to the beings one is aware of, to Mother Earth, to whatever one holds sacred.
The practice of awareness frees us from subjection to our thoughts and emotions and to the thieves of awareness who are rampant in our world. In each moment of each day, we have the capacity to make the greatest offering.
Let me be aware in every moment for You Great Vindos.
Let my life be an offering to You.
(1) I reconstructed this name from the medieval Welsh name Creiddylad. Craidd, in Welsh, means ‘core’ or ‘heart’ as does kerd or *ḱr̥d in Proto-Indo-European. The ending is simply fashioned to sound feminine and poetic. (2) Vindos means ‘White, Blessed, Holy’. Vindonnus means ‘Clear Light’. He cured eye ailments and, as Gwyn, He removed the Evil Eye.
Those who have seen me recently on a Zoom call might have noticed my big red face. It’s not because I’ve been bingeing on food or alcohol. I haven’t binged on food since my early twenties or majorly binged on alcohol for four years. The last time I had nearly a bottle of wine was last December and I had such a horrendous night of insomnia with a rapid heartbeat and a minor anxiety attack that I’m sure it was the last. My heart has demanded so.
Still, the big red face persists. The critical part of me tells me it’s a punishment for my past bingeing. The physical sign of my guilt and shame. The more rational part tells me that rosacea is a chronic skin condition of cause unknown that can be caused to flare up by a variety of stressors.
What is Rosacea?
The term rosacea comes from the Latin roseaceus and means ‘rose-coloured’ or ‘made of roses’. On the face of it, it’s an appealing term. Unless it refers to the colour of your face. It was first described in the 14th century by a French surgeon called Dr. Guy de Chauliac who named it goutterose, from the Latin gutta rosa, in relation to the primary symptom of facial flushing.
Rosacea is brought about by changes in vasculature (increased vasodilation and vascular endothelial growth) and an increased immune response. These lead to the defining symptoms – facial redness, visible blood vessels, thickening of the skin, burning and stinging, and bumps and pimples. The changes in your veins combined with the swelling make your face bigger and redder.
To boot, some people also get ocular rosacea (irritated eyes) and I am one of them. Having small itchy red eyes makes my big red face look even worse.
Common stressors are: sunlight, hot, cold and windy weather, hot baths, hot drinks, spicy and histamine-rich food, alcohol, skin products, exercise and stress.
From Rosy Cheeks to Rosacea
I believe my rosacea has always been there to some degree. From when I was a child, people commented on my ‘rosy cheeks. This made me blush even more. I got called ‘Farmer Giles’ along with ‘Pig’. I had big red cheeks and a pot belly. My facial redness went hand-in-hand with my fatness.
When I started restricting my diet, I began wearing foundation. When I was at my thinnest, in my goth years, I had a plastered and powdered porcelain face. The fat child with her chubby red cheeks was completely erased.
Yet, my swapping of binge eating for binge drinking took its toll. I noticed the heat in my face began to rise with the very first drink and the ruddiness began to shine through my foundation, particularly when I got a taste for red wine.
I believe alcohol had a role in the progression from red cheeks to rosacea. The other trigger was exercising excessively and working outdoors in all weathers. I ran half marathons in hail storms and on hot summer days. I worked on the mosslands in winter gales and bashed balsam in the July heat.
I first noticed how red my face had got after my first major flare-up after being out in the sun all day doing an ecological survey on a former mossland. This was when I first began to suspect I had rosacea.
It wasn’t until I had finished working in ecology and saw a video recording of a talk I had given for Land Sea Sky Travel that I realised how bad I looked. At this point, I started researching rosacea and found out it is chronic and incurable.
Chronic and Incurable
I got a formal diagnosis from my surgery after seeing a couple of nurses and a GP. The GP I saw had rosacea herself. She said the only effective treatment is taking antibiotics for the six months of summer when it is worst. I decided against this due to the effects on my gut microbiota.
Since then, I’ve tried using just Simple products, as advised. My rosacea has still worsened. I’ve tried some holistic skincare products that made it worse. I have more recently discovered Rosalique, who specialise in natural products for rosacea prone skin, and their cleanser and day and night creams have helped a little. I tried their foundation, which goes on green, and neutralises redness. It worked, but made my rosacea flare up afterwards, so is not a solution.
I’ve done my best to cut and limit stressors. I no longer drink hot drinks or alcohol. I don’t have my baths or showers too hot. I’ve swapped running for four strength training sessions and two cardio sessions. I avoid chilli powder.
Unfortunately, I cannot cut stress or anxiety, major contributing factors.
Zoom Face and my Inner Bully
The time my rosacea flares up the worst is in social situations. I get paranoid about people staring at my big red face and seeing it as a sign that I have been binge eating or drinking due to my past and cultural associations.
Zoom doesn’t help. I only recently found out about the phenomenon of Zoom Face. The wide-screen camera makes your face appear a lot wider. Having your laptop on your desk with the screen tilted creates a double chin effect. Default web cameras make your face redder to adjust for poor lighting.
These effects can be seen in the differences between Zoom and Photo Booth.
ZoomPhoto Booth
I look absolutely terrible on Zoom and try to ignore my face, but if I catch a glimpse of it and wonder what other people are thinking, it makes me even redder.
This vicious cycle has led to a flare-up of my eating disorder voice telling me that if I exercise a bit more and eat a bit less my face will be paler and thinner.
My inner bully is very good at hijacking my creativity and turning it against me. It tells me I look like ‘an angry beetroot’ and ‘a demented red hamster’ and that if I over-eat (ie. eat some extra nuts if I exercise more) my cheeks will get bigger and redder like Pinnochio’s nose and everyone will know I’ve been bingeing.
I know it’s lying because no amount of weight loss can undo the changes in my vasculature or the swelling and thickening of my skin due to my immune response.
I’m also aware that the person I am speaking to is more likely to think I’m overheating, or have been exercising, or have rosacea, rather than that I’ve been bingeing. And that they’re more likely to be thinking their own thoughts and focusing on the topic we are discussing rather than staring at my big red face.
But it’s still very difficult to live with. I’m aware there’s an element of body dysmorphia too as a remaining psychological eating disorder symptom.
Psychological and Spiritual Coping Methods
I’ve been doing my best to counter my guilt and shame with the knowledge that my bingeing wasn’t entirely my fault. It began due to bullying and my parents giving me chocolate rather than comforting me. I’m also genetically predisposed to diabetes. Together, these things led to me being addicted to the sugar in chocolate and later in alcohol. I’ve done well to get over both these addictions (albeit at the cost of developing a restrictive eating disorder).
I’ve attempted to decolonise my mind of the narratives of fatphobia and white supremacy that drive my discomfort at having a big red face and lie behind the anorexigenic ideals of thinness and whiteness.
In terms of advice from my Gods, I’ve been told to ‘be calm’ and ‘embody sanctuary’. This won’t get rid of my rosacea, but might help to calm my nervous system and dampen my overactive immune response.
I’ve found that daily meditation helps. I’ve tried giving metta ‘loving kindness’ to the bingeing parts of myself and practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion.
I’ve tried to be kinder to my face. Spending more money on nurturing natural products. Instead of scrubbing at it cleansing gently. Not scratching in the night.
I’m hoping that being open about my condition and providing an explanation of what’s happening on the outside and within here will relieve some of the guilt, shame and paranoia and lessen the voice of my inner bully and its hold.
Jake Ogden is a local autistic person and autism ambassador based near me in Leyland. Over the past few years, he has been raising awareness about autism through public speaking, interviews and his book, Being Jake.
In this short book, Jake shares his experiences of growing up in a world that didn’t understand him. He speaks with frankness and humour of ‘the cost of missing rules’, the exhausting effort of ‘translating what others take for granted’ and bridging the gap ‘between what’s assumed and what’s actually explained.’
This comes across most memorably in a couple of examples. ‘When I was about six, I stared at a glass of orange juice because the label said concentrate. When my nan told me to “hop off the bus,” I hopped down the aisle on one leg.’ As a fellow autistic person who also takes things literally these stories resonated with me.
The book covers a wide range of topics from why time pursuing interests and routine and predictability are essential to self-regulation and how relationships with friends and family need to be built on trust and reciprocity. It also addresses masking and its costs in terms of effort and how acting out can lead to making the wrong connections (I have done this!).
I particularly related to the chapter on ‘anxiety, overload and losing control’. Jake’s description of anxiety was very familiar: ‘Anxiety isn’t something that comes and goes for me. It’s something I live with. It’s common among autistic people, and it doesn’t always look like panic or fear. Often, it’s persistent, invasive, and without an off-switch. It settles into the background and waits… Anxiety brings decision paralysis, mental looping, and an inability to shift focus once my attention has locked in place.’
He speaks of his recognition of how learning to cope with anxiety is not a cure and of his mixed experiences with CBT. ‘It treated anxiety as a thinking error instead of a system overload. That meant the responsibility stayed with me to tolerate environments that were actively dysregulating’ and critiques its failure to take into account ‘how autistic overwhelm works’.
This fits with my own experience of anxiety that stems from system overload. CBT can be useful for addressing unhelpful thoughts and worries but it’s limited to the cognitive faculties only and doesn’t take into consideration the differences in sensory gating, information processing, or nervous system response in autistic people.
Jake also mentions issues around food, which is something many autistic people struggle with. I related to needing to eat the same foods at the same times and to finding that learning the facts behind nutrition and a structured approach to diet have been the best way of maintaining a healthy weight.
This book provides a personal, open, honest, no nonsense account of what it is like growing up and living with autism in a neurotypical world. I would recommend it to autistic people, those who suspect they might be autistic and those who are curious about learning about autism from an autistic viewpoint.
On Meditation as a Ground for Ecstatic Experiences
In a shamanic journey we travel in spirit from Thisworld to the Otherworld. These experiences are ecstatic, from the Greek ekstasis, (from ek ‘out’ and stasis ‘stand’). They take us out of ourselves. Thus, they can be ungrounding.
It is therefore important that we start fully grounded and in our bodies before we begin a shamanic journey and that we return to a grounded presence at the end.
Unfortunately, in our fast-paced techy modern world, few of us are really in our bodies. We’re absorbed in what we see on screens, racing about, planning this, doing that. When we’re not working we’re looking to the future, anticipating, worrying, or ruminating on the past, what we could have done better.
Having a daily meditation practice can help. In this article, I will outline the meditation practices that I use myself on a day-to-day basis and in preparation for a shamanic journey and with clients in shamanic sessions.
Body Awareness
In a body awareness meditation, we shift our attention from the everyday thoughts and worries that are our usual mainstay to our bodies.
It is easiest to bring our attention to the most dominant physical sensations first – the contact of the feet with the floor, the seat beneath us, our backs against the chair, the touch of clothing on skin and the air upon our faces.
We might then feel into our whole body and the sensations we are experiencing or shift our attention through the different areas, for example beginning with the feet and working upwards through the lower legs, upper legs, groin, torso, hands, lower arms, upper arms, shoulders, neck and head. This can be combined with breathing into and relaxing these body parts.
It’s really common to experience tension and discomfort we were formerly unaware of. We often forget about our bodies. We turn to work and even to shamanism to escape our pain and the stress and the trauma we are carrying.*
Body awareness meditation makes us aware of and can help us accept these feelings by witnessing them without judgement whilst in a safe space.
It helps us to get to know and befriend our bodies as living, intelligent organisms, rather than as cogs in the techno-modern machine.
Beginning a shamanic journey in our bodies and in good relationship with them makes for a smoother start and for an easier return. It also helps with the integration of spiritual insights and healing into physical reality.
Breath Awareness
Breath awareness meditation can also help us to shift our attention from our everyday thoughts and to build our ability to focus on one thing. The breath is used as the primary focal point in meditation traditions around the world because it is always with us, from life until death, here and now.
In this kind of meditation, we simply sit and observe the breath as it moves in and out without attempting to change or force anything. We might choose a certain point of focus such as the nostrils or the belly or shift our focus around.
As thoughts arise, we do our best to acknowledge them and let go. This is rarely easy. Most often, before we know it, we’re lost in thinking and some time has passed before we realise. Yet, the more we practice, the quicker we get at catching ourselves. It’s best to remain positive about these moments of recognition rather than beating ourselves up. The more we practice, the better we get at catching ourselves and the longer we can focus on the breath.
Focusing on the breath is good preparation for the shift from the outer to the inner senses when we begin a shamanic journey by visualising our departure point.
Sensory Awareness
I suggest that clients include this type of meditation in their personal practice if they have difficulties engaging the inner or ‘clair’ senses on a shamanic journey.
Paying attention to the outer senses in meditation and when engaging in everyday activities can help strengthen the ‘clair’ senses – clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairaudience (clear hearing), clairolfaction (clear smelling), clairgustance (clear tasting), clairsentience (clear feeling) and claircognizance (clear knowing).
In a sensory awareness meditation we can focus on the whole gamut of experience (open awareness) or upon what we can see, hear, smell, taste or feel. We can attend to each field of sensing as a whole or hone in individual sights, sounds, smells, tastes or feelings and examine them in minuscule detail. Knowing them better we can practice replicating them with our inner senses.
We can consciously keep hold of a memory of a particular place or being and use these memories when we visualise our departure point and spirit guides. Such practices make it easier for the spirit realm to speak to us through the ‘clairs’.
Learning Meditation
These meditation practices ensure we begin and end a shamanic journey present and grounded in the body, improve our ability to focus, and to engage our ‘clair’ senses and receive information from spirit whilst journeying.
All can be learnt alone relatively safely, but instruction and guidance can help. I started learning these kinds of meditation through the Breathe and Flow Expand meditation programme on their yoga channel then went on to do the excellent Introduction to Meditation course at the Mandala Yoga Ashram. Plum Village have some free guided meditations on their Youtube channel and provide introductions to mindfulness in the Buddhist tradition.
My shamanic guidance sessions on building a shamanic practice cover basic meditation (although I should note I am not a qualified meditation teacher).
*It’s important to note that body awareness may not be suitable for some people such as those with a lot of pain, heavy trauma, or who are neurodivergent and cannot stay still or are troubled by bodily sensations.
I’ve recently read an excellent booklet called Neurodiversity Tips for Mindfulness Teachers by Leizl Laidlaw and Christoph Spiessens. In this booklet, they present ‘7 Spokes of the Teaching Wheel’ with the aim of making mindfulness teaching more neuro-affirming. Whilst the target audience is mindfulness teachers, I found many of the tips relevant for my practice as an autistic shamanic practitioner who works with neurodivergent individuals.
The booklet is well laid out, well explained and accessible, in line with their values. It begins with a definition of neurodiversity and why awareness of the needs of neurodivergent (ND) communities is important. I particularly liked what they had to say about the benefits of authentic expression of one’s own neurotype for ND teachers. This is followed by a glossary listing neurotypes and neurological differences such as ADHD and alexisomia.
The 7 spoke wheel is then introduced with its practical guidelines. The first spoke is ‘Compass’. Its focus is ‘safety’ and it offers direction and alignment. It emphasises the importance of communicating an ND-inclusive approach from the beginning in terms of creating ‘clear, welcoming, and informative course information’ and providing different options for pre-course meetings, then goes into disclosure and access needs and pre-course conversations.
The second spoke is ‘Considering’ and its focus is ‘autonomy’. Here it is emphasised that ‘neurodivergent people are experts on their own experience’ and ‘differences are not pathologies’. The section on ‘programming and pacing’ outlines some considerations that are incredibly important for me as an autistic person. The absence of these, in the past, has led to me becoming extremely agitated in group settings and not returning. ‘Keep things predictable’. ‘Give clear time boundaries’. I cannot list the times I’ve been in a meeting or a workshop and there has been no timetable, or it has not been adhered to, and the conversation has steered away from the main focus onto an entirely irrelevant tangent. This is incredibly draining for autistic brains, which thrive on routine and predictability.
The third spoke is ‘Connecting’ and its focus is ‘respect’. Here we find guidelines for disclosing one’s own neurotype and being respectful of others by ensuring to name sarcasm and to avoid involuntary microagressions. This prevents neurodivergent individuals from feeling stupid because they don’t get a joke (this often happens to me as an autistic person – I’m always the last to get it!).
The fourth spoke is ‘Congruence’ and is about ‘explaining’. It involves being open about one’s own needs and ‘what’s happening in real time’ as well as being aware of what is happening for others. The fifth spoke is ‘Conducting’ and focuses on ‘adjustments’ such as being careful with metaphors, providing alternative anchors and alternatives to visualisation. The sixth spoke, ‘Conveying’, covers accessibility. For the seventh spoke, ‘Community’, ‘the unifying theme is difference’. This provides tips on helping everybody to feel safe and affirming each person’s unique contribution.
This book was helpful for me as an autistic shamanic practitioner who works with neurodivergent clients. Through it, I have discovered some neurological differences that I identify with or have seen in others that I was beforehand unable to name. One of these was: ‘Alexisomia: difficulty recognising or describing bodily sensations, such as hunger, tension, or comfort/discomfort’. Another was: ‘Misophonia: Strong emotional or physical reactions to specific everyday sounds. Examples include chewing, throat sounds, tapping, rustling, or repetitive environmental noises.’
I have learnt a lot about providing and maintaining a supportive space for neurodivergent clients and checking in about and accommodating for their needs. I have already noticed that not all people can visualise or understand metaphorical language and this booklet has expanded my awareness of this. It has also made me more aware of the need to provide alternative anchors during the grounding meditation that I provide to ensure that the client is present and in their body before undertaking a shamanic journey to the spirit realm.
In terms of congruence, I’ve learnt that it’s better to be authentic and to let a client know that I am autistic and that I struggle with processing large amounts of information (for example if someone is talking abut their ancestral lines I easily get confused) and ask them to slow down and repeat themselves rather than pretending I have understood and managed to take everything in. Also, if I’m having an off day, explaining that I’m struggling with autistic overwhelm or burnout and I may need to ask them to repeat their words.
I’d recommend this booklet to all shamanic practitioners and to others who practice and teach in the spiritual communities on the basis of its value for raising awareness of neurodiversity and for providing practical tips that can help us, together, to shape more neuro-affirming spaces.
You can purchase a copy of the PDF on the website of Christoph Spiessens HERE.
Guidance on crossing the threshold in shamanic practice
One of the fundamental practices within shamanism is crossing the threshold between Thisworld and the Otherworld. Doing so is a transformative practice. It evokes curiosity and fear. In this article, I will provide guidance on crossing the threshold through a shamanic drum journey and address some common concerns.
What is a Threshold?
The term ‘threshold’ originates from the Middle English, thresh-wolde, ‘plank, stone, or piece of wood under a door or doorway, especially in a dwelling.’ This derives from the Old English, þrescold, þærscwold, þerxold, ‘door-sill, point of entering.’ It was used to describe the borders between countries (1).
A threshold is something that separates this from that. It’s often an entryway or a boundary. Largely, it separates places: rooms, indoors and outdoors, properties, towns, counties, countries, nations, worlds. Most significantly, in shamanism, there is a threshold between Thisworld and the Otherworld.
The threshold between the worlds is often described as a ‘veil’. You may have heard it said that there are times and places when and where ‘the veil is thin’. Liminal times and places (the term ‘liminal’ derives from the Latin limen ‘threshold’).
In British mythology and folklore, at dawn, at dusk, at midnight, at certain hills, trees and lakes, you might see the fairies or be taken to their realm. But not all of us want to be taken across the threshold involuntarily.
Practices for Crossing the Threshold
There a number of practices by which we can voluntarily cross the threshold, seeing and travelling beyond the veil. These include: drumming, dancing, fasting, meditation and using hallucinogenic drugs and plant medicines.
The safest and most effective method is journeying to a drumbeat of around 4 – 7 beats per second. This takes our brain down from the Beta state (everyday busy mind) through the Alpha state (meditative) to the Theta state (a dreamlike trance) which is just above Delta (sleep). In a shamanic drum journey, you travel in spirit from a location in Thisworld to the Otherworld by riding the drum beat like you ride a horse and following an intention.
With this method, unlike with drugs and plant medicines, you are completely in control. When the drum beat ends, you come back from the journey.
The Threshold and Transformation
Crossing the threshold is a transformative experience. When we go to another country we cannot help but come back changed. The same applies to crossing from Thisworld to the Otherworld. Even more so, because not only are the customs and people different, but space and time work differently. Things are not what they seem. Everyday logic breaks down.
The Otherworld is a land of paradox and contradiction that can only be spoken of in poetry and metaphor. In British folklore, it is said that those who sleep at liminal places and cross between the worlds and return ‘Dead, mad or a poet.’
Experiences of the Otherworld and its spirits change the way we perceive Thisworld and, by changing our perception, change us too. The rules of our society and our family values might be put into question along with the way we are treating the earth and other human and non-human beings. Yet, with a richer, deeper understanding we are equipped to handle these changes.
Concerns about Crossing
During my experience of practicing shamanism, alone and in groups, and in my client work, concerns often come up. Here, I will address the most common.
What if nothing happens?
I have never witnessed someone go on a shamanic journey where nothing happens. A common mistake is to expect a filmic journey. These can occur, but it’s far more common to have a dreamlike sense of travelling through a landscape with flashes of imagery, sounds, smells, tastes, sensings and knowings. Some people report simply feeling an emotion, others bodily sensations. Some fall asleep. These are all significant. Something happens.
What if I get stuck?
Getting stuck is really common. Everybody gets stuck. It’s a fundamental part of shamanic journeying. Stuckness is a challenge from the Otherworld and encourages us to call upon our guides and our ingenuity to unstick ourselves. For example, many people report getting stuck in darkness, particularly on their way to the Lower World. In such instances we can feel our way through, ask our guides to bring a light, or ask Darkness for safe passage.
What if I lose control?
Shamanic journeying to a drumbeat following an intention for 20 – 50 minutes is very safe. Keep your intention in mind and follow the advice of your guides and it is very unlikely you will lose control. Loss of control is only likely to happen if you’re drumming for a lot longer or if you’re combining drumming with fasting, dancing, or intoxicants.
What if I don’t come back?
On a shamanic drum journey, there is a call back beat designed to bring you back. If you start grounded in your body, follow the drumbeat and intention and return with the call back, you will be fine. In fourteen years, I’ve never seen someone not come back from this kind of journey.
What if I’m making it up?
This question stems from the flawed conception of imagination in Western culture wherein it is identified with fabrication and fantasy. In shamanic cultures, it is the channel through which we access the spiritual realms. In a shamanic journey, we begin by actively imagining our journey to begin communication with the Otherworld. Then, begins a dialogue. The Otherworld speaks to us, shows us things, takes us places beyond our wildest knowings and our deepest dreams we cannot have made up.
What if I go mad?
Generally, on a shamanic drum journey, our guides give us no more than we can handle. It’s only when we misuse drugs or plant medicines or approach the Otherworld disrespectfully we get ‘bad trips’. Yet, sometime along the way, it’s likely you will have a ‘big experience’ whether beautiful and ecstatic or horrible and terrifying (or both!). For these times, it is useful to have a shamanic practitioner and / or a psychotherapist and like-minded friends to turn to. Traversing periods of ‘madness’ and questioning is part of the territory.
The Next Step
If you are curious about crossing the threshold but unsure about how to take the next step, I would suggest seeking one-to-one guidance from a shamanic practitioner or taking a workshop or course with a reputable facilitator. I offer shamanic guidance sessions. I would also recommend The Way of the Buzzard Mystery School to anybody interested in online learning.
Stepping over the threshold can be scary, but it’s worth facing your fears for the wealth of knowledge and inspiration that lies beyond the veil, glistening far brighter than all the stolen gold that has been torn from Thisworld.
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Are you curious about shamanism and wanting to learn more?
Why not book a free one-to-one 40 minute taster session?
Sessions begin with an introduction to shamanism covering:
*The history of shamanism *The three world shamanic cosmology (Lower World, Middle World, Upper World) *The shamanic journey drumbeat *Departure points and intention setting
This will be followed by a shamanic drum journey to the Lower World to meet an animal spirit guide. After this, there will be time to feedback and ask questions.
Sessions take place online on Zoom in a safe, supportive and inclusive setting.
I am very proud and honoured to announce that I have been accepted as a Shamanic Healer Practitioner Member by the Shamanic Healers Circle.
The Shamanic Healers Circle is ‘a trusted professional body for Shamanic Healing in the UK’ and is ‘dedicated to establishing professional standards in shamanic healing.’
It is ‘committed to:
Setting clear standards for shamanic training and practice
Supporting safe, ethical, and grounded healing work
Recognising qualified shamanic practitioners and teachers
Providing pathways to professional accreditation in shamanic healing’
This work is so important for getting shamanism recognised as a proper profession. I am looking forward to being part of this circle and to attending the monthly meetings.
Slip: Life in the Middle of the Eating Disorder Recovery by Mallary Tenore Tarpley is an important book. As far as I know it’s the first book that highlights the complex and ambiguous nature of the term ‘full recovery’ within eating disorder treatment and proposes the possibility of a middle ground.
Each chapter combines memoir with journalistic work. Tarpley tells the story of her struggles of anorexia from when it was triggered by grief at losing her mother when she was eleven years old through sickness, hospitalisation and perceived recovery to a further relapse at college and a lapse following pregnancy.
Each section of memories is followed by reflections on an aspect of the eating disorder from her present-day perspective combined with interviews and research. Subjects covered include: the relationship between eating disorders and grief, the problems of lack of eating disorder awareness in the medical professions and misdiagnosis particularly for BIPOC and those in larger bodies, and how the egosyntonic nature of restrictive eating disorders is supported by thin ideals and fat phobia in contemporary society.
At its core lies Tarpley’s concept of ‘the middle place’. She defines this in the introduction to the book as ‘the liminal space that many of us inhabit as we work our way toward wellness.’ She notes that the term ‘full recovery’ is complicated and inadequately defined. ‘The middle place provides a framework that is more inclusive of people who don’t see themselves as fully recovered… (who)… meet all the BMI and body-weight criteria’ but ‘still have distorted thoughts that dictate their choices regarding food and exercise.’
In ‘Chapter Six: The Possibility of Recovery’ she dives deeper. She speaks of how she felt eating disorder recovery was unavailable to her because some of her ‘treatment providers described it as the absence of the eating disorder and all the distorted thoughts that came with it… if I didn’t have anorexia would I still be me?’
In contrast to this approach she says, ‘It’s less about the eradication of the disorder but the elucidation of it’. Getting to know the ‘eating disorder self’, what triggers it, what messages it brings, so it can then be accepted and integrated with the ‘healthy self’ and the latter can be strengthened. She also speaks of onboarding the strengths associated with the eating disorder.
This was incredibly illuminating and reassuring for me. I’ve had an eating disorder since I was six years old. This began with binge eating then developed predominantly into restricting and over-exercising combined with binge drinking. Only recently, aged 44, whilst at a lowish normal weight but still struggling psychologically, have I had a clinical diagnosis. Having read Jenni Schaefer’s books, Life Without Ed and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me, and come across other anecdotes of full recovery that involve ditching weighing and calculating in favour of intuitive eating and leaving behind all weight-related and distorted thoughts, it felt impossible.
I’m autistic and my eating disorder is so bound up with my restrictive and repetitive behaviours that I don’t know where it ends and I begin. The best I’ve been able to do is harness my need for routine and fascination with science and need for calculation to create a healthier diet and exercise regime. Being able to weigh and measure is the only thing that stops me restricting or over-exercising out of panic that I might be in a surplus and gain weight. Thus, the eating disorder and I are currently at a point of uneasy allegiance.
When Tarpley was in the full hold of her eating disorder, she described it as: ’an invisible sea monster that had slowly wrapped itself around my body without my even realizing it’ tightening its grip to the point she ‘couldn’t break free.’ I’ve also seen my eating disorder as a serpent wrapped around me and a Siamese twin and felt that if we completely separated it would kill me.
This has helped me to accept where I’m at now better, whilst maintaining hope of improvement. Importantly, Tarpley states: ‘Living in the middle place isn’t about giving up on full recovery, it’s about viewing recovery as an ongoing process rather than a final destination.’
This book has been helpful for me both as a person with lived experience of an eating disorder and as a shamanic practitioner. I’m hoping that the insights within will help me to be more compassionate towards myself at the place I’m at in eating disorder recovery and to have a better understanding of clients who present with food and body image related issues.
